Monday, December 28, 2009

Women and men in Gender Studies, what do you feel is the best dating advice you've ever gotten?

It doesn't even need to be advice that was given to you, it could be something that you've thought about and come up with yourself.





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I personally have come to the conclusion that everyone is an individual, regardless of gender. Even though we have those gender stereotypes, I try to not listen to them and I get to know everyone before immediately assuming things. I've also learned that, while things like appearance or success is always a plus, personality and the ability to make me smile is the most important thing a partner can offer me.





Also, from reading a lot of the complaining questions on here, I've decided that I need to strive to be a good person all around if I want a good relationship. I expect a lot from people I date; I want confidence, a sense of humor, intelligence and kindness. That's why I strive to exhibit these things myself, and I also work hard on my body because, in my personal opinion, attractiveness never hurts your chances.





I also go Dutch on all my dates. I don't expect guys to pay for me, and I treat them myself. I treat people the way I want them to treat me in return.





And lastly of all, I don't want to be that girl that the guys complain about in this forum. I don't expect a lot from the people I date in terms of material goods, and I'm sure to return favors. I also don't go out with guys who disrespect me. I've learned that the girls who tend to go out with losers are seen as such themselves.





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This is what I've learned from random strangers on the internet, and I want to learn more. As much as my friends laugh and call me a nerdling for being a Y!A addict, I think I've learned a lot just from witnessing all these people on the internet, where I assume they're being most honest. What have you learned? And do you find this section helpful? What other sections do you learn a lot from? I know I've gotten lots of relationship advice from Singles and Dating, I go into Psychology a lot, Society and Culture Sections, I like Finance, Diet and Fitness is important too, and I'm also frequently in Parenting. How about you? Tell me about it. I'm grounded and have nothing else to do.





Yahoo Answers, ftw.Women and men in Gender Studies, what do you feel is the best dating advice you've ever gotten?
I don't remember anyone ever giving me any good dating advice. All I have ever got is lousy dating advice. One woman I use to work with when I was 19 told me to marry for money then divorce him and then marry for love. She use to say if you've got it flaunt it. Another woman I use to work with told me never get married because all men were azzholes. She said she like her life of celibacy. My mother use to tell me that I should be more choosy about who I date because I deserved the best. I will accept my mothers advice as just being biased since everyone wants the best for their children.





Thank god I never listened to anyone of those people and did what I felt was right. I ended up with a great man and we have been married for 20+ years now.Women and men in Gender Studies, what do you feel is the best dating advice you've ever gotten?
I never go on blind dates. After the horror of the one I went on my stance is firm: NO BLIND DATES!
The best advice I've ever heard is from Laurel K Hamilton:





No matter how careful you are, you can end up pregnant. That's what sex is designed to do, after all. So, never have sex with anyone who is mean or stupid and ugly is a judgment call, because all three may breed true.
The best advice I ever recieved was ';NEVER SHOW WEAKNESS'; from my uncle. He was right. I've been getting laid so much more ever since.





Edit: Annie, I wouldn't call it ';faking,'; it's just adding certain guidelines towards your projection to society. It's more of a personal progression rather than just an illusion. As the old saying goes, sometimes you have to ';fake it to make it.'; If you want to be the person you're ';faking,'; I don't see anything wrong with that. I never really wanted to be a shy introverted guy, so I had to fake confidence in order to see the effect it had. Slowly it became who I am today and I'd never go back.
Never take dating advice from a woman.
Never give 100% of yourself, never commit, and never get attatched. I need to be impressed just as much as she does. If she's pretty and stupid....I'm gone. If she's so so and smart....I'll give her a good night. If she's up for a laugh and genuine be it so so, pretty, stupid or smart....I'm hers%26lt;-- And if she has a great bum, she's not going home tonight ;-)
';Act cool';





Advice given to me by my elder brother when I was 13 when I was besotted with Fiona Bridlington.





It worked.
Be yourself, and if you don't know who that is, spend your life finding out.








BTW:


Some of advice I see here is about being a fake, manipulating people. If you spend your life attempting to be someone that you are not, good luck, many people can see straight through you.
People are generally insecure and need constant reassurance. The right words, tone, and body language will always produce a desired effect.
There are very specific things I would advise for either men or women specifically. However, if there was one general rule that I could put out there that works not only in dating, but in life it would be; be interesting.





The vast majority of people live banal, meaningless lives. The person who adds something interesting to their lives is infinitely attractive. Even boring people can seem interesting. I tell my students to be ';quietly bold.'; That is...only say things that are interesting or necessary...do not ramble on and on about your life. Unless you are a spy for the CIA...it's probably boring. If you must ramble, talk about ideas, dreams or things that excite you. Your excitement will carry over to the other person. Everyone has plenty of boring in their lives...they don't need to hear about yours as well. As for the ';bold'; part. That is simple...always have a plan. People like to relax and be lead. If you always know what's next, people tend to allow themselves to follow you into your world. This creates trust and intimacy quickly.

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